Well people, this is an awesome spectacular totally rad psychedelic stuff that happened to me that I am gonna relate here. Stay calm and read on.
Bored out of my beautiful body on a Sunday morn or was it afternoon I don’t know, was staring blankly at the sky trying to while away my time when all of a jerky-sudden the guy came to me. Yeah, the big guy, the man himself. The one and only! It was our friendly neighborhood Jesus of Nazareth! ‘Boy, this is his second coming!’ I thought. He came to me with a smile and a peace sign, sat beside me and asked ‘How’s it hanging?’ I didn’t give him a direct answer but a clue and he guessed the rest using his divine power. He then said since boredom usually relates to sadness and seeing me in such a sad state he has come to just hang out with me for a while and give me some company to help push time just like ‘just push play’ before he goes back to playing fiddle with his daddy-o who is the big big big guy.
I told him that thanks for the concern am moved but am not interested in hanging out with him since Judas was my guy. I always had this thing for the guy Judas since even though Jesus and Judas both have the same characteristics; he is not pretentious like Jesus. Both sell people, Judas sold Jesus and Jesus in turn sells people to his daddy-o, at least he tries to. Both take away freedom. I told him this.
People what do u think happened next? The man started crying, like a si..Well excuse me. You know how sensitive the man is from reading the doog n’good book don’t you? We can see in the book how he got sad over the death of silly ol’ Lazarus who in the end turned out to be just an instrument for Jesus to perform a miracle and not a human after all, just like the rest of us. Heck, Lazarus isn’t even a lead character in the 3 act 4 gospel book and our man cried for him?! How sweet!
This time around with me though, he was not crying ‘cause of sadness. It’s just the realization that made him cry. The realization that Judas and he are the same. And to think that it took him this much years to understand this and brainy ol’ me revealed it to him! I patted the guy with understanding on the shoulder and then he stood up, said thanks to me, said”don’t know what I’d have done without you”, made the peace sign and split.
After a moment of ‘do-nothing’ it suddenly struck me. Oh god what have I done! The guy is reputed for his kindness and all and I didn’t even ask him for money. I mean I was and still am completely broke and all I had to do was just ask the man. Producing hard cash out of thin air is bound to be easier than turning water into wine, don’t u think?
Well, that’s it.
Morale of the story: umm…..well…you got me!