Sunday, February 18, 2007

Amitabh Bachan for President?

Amitabh Bachan for President?

There was a news flashed across our TV sets a few days back stating that Mr.Amitabh Bachan’s name is being pushed by a couple of political parties as the next president of India. There were many who were flabbergasted by this news. Agreed, he is the biggest superstar of this country, maybe even a great actor. But he has not done anything for the country or the people to warrant such an action. Then again when has our politicians been logical when it came to gimmicks to stay in the limelight. Maybe they would like a bit of glamour and star power in the corridors of power

So let’s take a leaf out of their book and take a flight into fantasy. Let’s take leave of our senses and speculate on what would happen if the stars were to take over the running of our country.

The President of India – Amitabh Bachan

Who other than the Big B himself is eligible to being the first citizen of India? The man was voted as the superstar of the millennium in a poll conducted by the BBC. This is not much of a brain teaser

Vice President of India – Jaya Bachan

Behind every successful man there is a successful woman. So it is logical to have Jaya Bachan as the vice president of India. Like Clinton said of Hillary when he took over the American Presidency, you get two presidents for the price of one. Now has there ever been a greater offer!!!

Prime Minister/ Finance Minister – Shah Rukh Khan

If anybody can hold himself in terms of star power and fan following with the Big B, then it has to be Shah Rukh Khan. The self proclaimed Badshah of Bollywood would definitely get a kick out of ruling the whole nation literally. His first order of action? Make valentine’s day a national holiday so that his loyal fans (read shrieking mindless girls) can watch his candy flossed movies on love and romance in peace. His stint with the Indian version of the TV series ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’ should have given him enough hands on experience in distributing wealth among those who require it. This should help him to be one of the most popular finance ministers in history.

Home Minister – Navjot Singh Sidhu

Although strictly not from the bollywood, he being an ex-cricketer, he displays enough shenanigans from time to time that would put any star to shame. Imagine him giving his pearls of wisdom (read those mindless Siddhuisms he keeps imparting on the rest of us) to some rioters. They would give up violence just to shut him up. Or they would be so immersed in thought to figure out what exactly he said that they would forget all about rioting in the first place.

External Affairs Minister – Shilpa Shetty

After her recent successful stint with the reality TV show Big Brother UK, there can be no better choice for this post than her. Probably she can bat her eyelids and get Tony Blair to help. She can clear away our problems with Pakistan with those lovely tears which won over her Big Brother audiences.

Minister for Law – Sanjay Dutt

Sanjay Dutt has been in trouble so many times, it’s a wonder that he is still walking around as a free man. What with his court hearings going on and on for over a decade he must have picked up on some legal expertise by now. He has even spent some time in jail. Who better than a convict to know the in and out of the law?

Minister for Animal Rights and protection/ Sport – Salman Khan

Salman should be given a chance to redeem himself for his poaching of the endangered black buck. He will have the opportunity to show his animal loving side (hope he doesn’t love them too much and start reaching for the nearest double barrel gun). And just in case he can’t contain himself… well he can always have the sport ministry to fall back upon

Now I know all these guys don’t have enough experience in politics to be ministers. Not to worry. We have some experienced ‘old’ stars who can act as mentors to these guys. I am sure people like Vinod Khanna, Shatrughan Sinha, Dharmendra, Govinda et al. wouldn’t mind. So the only option left to our existing bunch of politicians? Either act in a movie or start visiting their nearest beauty parlours. Readers are welcome to add on or change this list.

I know this has been very childish article and it was intentionally so. Because that’s how seriously I think we should take this suggestion of the Big B being the next president. There are enough qualified and vetran politicians here to take care of it. The name of Somnath Chatterjee readily springs to mind.

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