Men and Marriage
I have met a lot of men out there who have a funny point of view on marriage. Some look forward to it while some others run away. Some succumb to outside compulsions while some just take it as a natural occurrence in the journey of life. But no matter what, in the Indian society it is very difficult to live without getting married.
I have known guys of the incurable romantic variety, whose only goal in life it might seem is to get married. You can easily recognize such guys. They are the ones you see always accompanying a girl to wherever she goes. Mind you I said girl, not girls, coz the intentions of these guys are very noble. They thrust their faces in front of the girl so often that it would be almost impossible for the girl to even see anything else. Greatest mysteries as to how she manages to walk without tripping over him. He does this so often, mainly in the pretext of helping her that the girl begins to see him even when she closes her eyes. He does this until either the girl has to hit him away with a sledgehammer or agrees to marry him just to stop him pestering her.
Then there are those guys who are complete commitment phobic. They are scared of their loss of freedom. They have nightmares of having to live the rest of their life with the same woman. They are terrified of the thought of having to consider and take care of someone else other than themselves. These guys you can easily recognize in marriages or in the company of married couples. They look at other men with utmost pity and sympathy. There are even some who look at the married fools (or so they think) with a smug look on their faces and contempt in their eyes.
Now the most curious variety to me is the ones who get married just to get over with the whole affair. These poor souls are those eligible bachelors who are constantly nagged with the question “Why are you not getting married?” or the even more concerning “Oh you are not married yet?” They are the flavor of the day wherever they go. Parents, of girls who are of marriageable age, start enquiring about him behind his back. Covert operations, that would put any spy thriller to shame, are set in motion to know of the person’s character. Not to mention the pressure from his own mother, who starts mouthing off sentimental typical Indian dialogues like “I want to see my grandson before I die”? The poor guy just doesn’t know what hit him.
His troubles don’t end there either. This sets the ball rolling on a whole lot of whacky episodes at his house. Bio-data of various potential ‘candidates’ are collected from marriage bureaus all over the globe (ah the magic of internet!!!) and his own bio-data is send to them. The short listed candidate’s horoscopes are matched by at least 3 expert astrologers, all coming to vastly different conclusions, predicting the direst of dire consequences that scares the hell out of all concerned. In the end one suitable candidate is found and the parents, more out of relief than anything else, rush through the formalities. The guy watches the whole thing get out of his control and goes through the motions in a state of complete bewilderment. Before he even realizes it, he is standing at the altar tying the knot of his life.
But the saddest of the lot are the ones who want to get married and are not able to do so due to various reasons. Mostly these are guys who have had other commitments to deal with when they were young and now want to start life afresh. However they are now past ‘acceptable’ marriageable age and have a tough time finding suitable partners. You can identify these guys by the look on their face that resembles that of a hungry puppy waiting for its next meal from its master, every time they see a lady. Even sorrier are those guys who can’t get married coz of some complications in their horoscope which prevent them from finding their dream match. These guys go about life wishing for a second big bang and obliterate all those heavenly bodies that have royally screwed up his life.
So why do we men get married? Barring a very few most of all the above mentioned categories of men eventually get married. Why would anyone knowingly go through their whole life bound to someone? Almost all married men I have met complaints of the lack of freedom, the constant nagging, the extra ordinary mood swings of the woman in their life. They even have to endure the mother of all battles from time to time; the one for the remote!!! They even begin to act saintly and learned, and start mouthing off pearls of wisdom to other younger unmarried men, all the while admitting that they are yet to figure out the most complex of God’s creations – a woman’s mind. Event those ladies who seems docile before marriage, magically transforms into Hitler reincarnated after it.One is tempted to ask why anyone would go through all this trouble in the first place.
The answer is simple. Men, even though they act tough on the outside, are really weak being when it comes to matters of heart. Men, more than any other creature, need companionship. They want their egos to be boosted when they feel good and to be soothed when it is bruised. They are scared of being lonely for the rest of their lives. Afraid they would be leaving this earth without a legacy behind. Men need wives because they know that only a wife can complete him. He needs that life partner, the responsibility and commitment towards her to make him a better being. But the most illogical and maybe the most important reason is love.
So what kind of a married man am I, happy or sad? Well… the kind of man who is smart enough to know that his wife would be reading this post with quite some interest. The kind of man who knows that he is too young to die!!!