Nothing but tenderness and pleasure.
The lost can be regained and that never occurred can be made to occur.
For Samuel Johnson “honeymoon is the first month after marriage when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure”. How come that this time for newly weds came to be known
It is said that in ancient
A father always wished the best husband for his daughter, as ordinary people were the majority they had to take her against her father’s (father in laws) wish and the couple had to run away and hide fearing the ferocious father in law! Who had the mandate of the tribe to catch the boy like a thief and punish him for the ‘crime’; that might be the reason for the custom of couples living in hiding (seclusion)?
Good food and good time.
It may either force feeding of honey that caused the word or hiding for fear of reprisal may be the reason why newlyweds go for tour during the period, it is a fact that young couples are allowed to have the best food at home and they are permitted to live away from the bothers of home although for a limited period. This custom exists in almost all countries and cultures from primitive tribes to the present day urbanites.
What do they do!
What do they do in this period actually nothing of any importance! Elders think as they are simply engaged in all sweet nothings (nothing but tenderness and pleasure as said by Samuel Johnson). Although the trivial talking and dealing of newlyweds appear silly for adults; each plays in giving them plenty of moments to be cherished for their future life.
Back to the day-to-day life.
Pregnancy related problems financial issues skirmishes with other members of the home etc take their share in robbing the couple the charm of honeymoon and the two are out of the magic spell. From then onwards the reality which hid somewhere in the corner shows it ugly head! They go on living in the changed situation getting accustomed to the fact that all good things of life never last long.
Kids as villains!
Present day parents have a tendency to be unpaid servants of the kids and the kids grow accustomed to see their parents as sexless objects with no personal interests. Even after becoming grown ups they summon mother to take a glass of water or get their laundries cleaned. When these kids grow up and leave the home poor parents so far unpaid slaves of the kids find nothing else to do as they also got tuned to be ‘kid’s servants’. The parents (esp. wife) get time to read and review their own life and the changes it had undergone, they at times think about the long lost honeymoon along with the magical experiences associated with that time.
Susan and Maggie.
Here is a story of year old ladies who were bosom-friends at their college days and happened to meet after a long duration. After the usual chat about their husbands and kids the conversation turned towards their personal life. Susan who was a bit mischievous and full of energy during her college days was not as happy as a wife and mother and she explained to her friend’s query that as a wife and a mother she was perfect yet was not a happy person.
All normal and not happy.
Susan “I give and give but don’t get”. Maggie was not surprised at her friend’s statement as she used to think and talk differently, and she enquired “come on, tell me the real thing, how is Tom?
Susan “He is a good husband and a good father and children are also smart, but life seems so boring”.
Maggie “with a good husband and kids, why can’t you make life interesting?
Susan “As you know from childhood I have some cranky ideas, about married life also I have some; but afraid to tell Tom about it, he may think I have gone crazy”.
Maggie “then please tell if it would be of some help”.
Susan “I will tell you what it is but never say anybody that I have told you such things, it is some what like this –
Susan and her dream.
first book a swanky suit in a good hotel in
take the three kids to my mothers house, me an Tom alone there,
After sight seeing and a hot water bath a good dinner,
I am in a very sexy dress; sits with Tom by the fire place; talking about our college days and the small things that happened when we were in love.
For supper we have only fruit juice and we sit there looking eye to eye and smile. Tom cannot control himself and the ‘kids’ father’ changes in to a teenager!
I understand his problem but pretend not; and ignore his attempt for early sex. But go on teasing him until he turns sad,
then I slowly gets his hand and lead him to the delights he had never known all in my terms!
the routine goes on for all the three days; we vacate the room; take back the kids and go home, that is all!
I am sure we will be a changed couple thereafter”!
Please book two!
Maggie was so thrilled at Susan’s idea and she eagerly asks “when are you going to book the suit? Please book two; one for us, Peter; my kids’ dad is a permanent bore talking business on bed! If this treatment changes him, how wonderful it would be!
Susan “it was all my imagination I dare not tell it to Tom, what he may think of me; a forty five year old woman and mom of three kids, just wishing for a second honeymoon what a shame”!
To tell or not to tell?
The two friends parted and months passed one day Maggie so far afraid to tell it to her husband about the idea of her friend could not resist anymore and told it to him, and also said about her own remark of ‘changing a kids’ father who was permanent bore’ Peter although laughed heart full at her remark, had thought about the un interesting life in which both of them were in.
A ‘dream-run’ for three days!
Next day evening he could get telephone number of Tom from Maggie and introduced himself as husband of Maggie; Susan’s best friend. Those tow ‘bores’ had a loud laugh over the phone and there was no delay in checking in to two ‘swank suits’ of a
Happily ever after?
What happened to them did they live happy ‘ever after’ may be, but those three days were for the both couples a lifetime experience a second honeymoon far more pleasure giving than the first one.