Quarreling couples. Look at the stars!
Between groom and a husband
There is a long distance for a groom has to travel to become a husband and so to a bride to be a wife. Can either quarrel all the way or spend the time laughing together. A life partner is something one has to bear (suffer or enjoy) all the way. It is said that marriages are made in heaven that must be the reason why Hindus look at the stars to see whether it will work! If it works it must be the smartest way for selecting a partner.
Look before you leap or look at the stars!
In India parents of bride and groom approach an astrologer with a piece of paper in which the position of stars at the time of birth of their ward is marked, the astrologer compares them and tell whether the alliance can be made or avoided. This is a tradition going on for millennium. One may find it hard to believe that about ninety percent of the Hindu marriages are made as per the recommendation of the astrologer. This is done by comparing the “gruhanila” (planet-position. gruham is planet and nila is position) of the bride and the groom. There are online consultants also in this field.
Man the conqueror
Human being is an advanced form of ape and his basic behaviors are not in full accordance with that a refined society’s expectation. Male has traditionally got hard roles like hunting, killing, defending the tribe from attackers and conquering other tribes etc. The present form a family life makes him like a cat tied to a pole. Greater amount of self restraint and conditioning is required for him to be a successful home maker.
Woman the nurturer
The traditional role of a woman is to nurture the family members and in a family life she is naturally more at home. (It is another thing that she faces such challenges at work places which is her untraditional field). A home is to woman as cave was to an ape.
Her partner showing negligence in dusting and cleaning home- while she is busy at kitchen- is some thing a wife just does not understand. She is not aware that this man is programmed by god almighty to be a conqueror and not a cleaner!.
The prankster above
Leave the star gazing to the bachelors, to those who already married let us see how the way be spent laughing and smiling without regard to the stars. Human being was not programmed by almighty (who is a maverick prankster) as monogamous, but has to live so. When there is burning love for togetherness equal clashes of ego and individualism work for separation. The pulls and pushes god almighty plays, and between these dialectics live two individuals, we call them spouses.
The best couple of the area
One who had to pay a visit to a neighbor’s house was shocked to see she bathed in tears and he tearing his hair and cursing his fate, it was the same couple who won the best couple’s award during the last residential association’s meet! To the bewildered looks of the neighbor there was a shower of complaints from both. “This man is pushing me to suicide, he is selfish and cruel!” It was the accusation of the “best wife”. The poor husband says “my fate! I don’t know what to do. I have done every thing I could to make her happy. I am to desert the family, going somewhere to live and die in peace”, the best husband moans.
Welding the wedding
The incident given in paragraph above can take place any house in residential locality; quarreling couple is no news at all. This time it happened to be a local “best couple’s” family just add some fun same time exposes how painful the adjustment between two individuals can be some times. Financial matters, unfaithfulness, unrefined words, raking up past quarrels, sex, opposing view points, etc there can be innumerable reasons for quarrel. Without quarrel what thrill is there in a wedded life! It is said that quarrel welds a wedded life. Wedding itself is a sort of welding which joins two individuals to remain as one for the rest of their life.
A memory therapy
This is a true story of a computer programmer, immersed in his work for 24 hours; he had forgotten every finer things in his married life like birthdays, children’s education, excursions, social ceremonies etc. His wife as in every case nagged, blamed and wept making both of their lives miserable.
A million dollar advice – given free
It was her good neighbor who played the counselor’s role. The next day as a test case the wife telephoned him to bring a pound of sugar while returning home. As the request was in unusually sweet voice that touched some soft corners of his mind, he could not forget it as usual. When sugar was brought home the response was tremendous. She hugged and kissed him profusely for bringing it as well as for all goodness he had. The poor programmer- not knowing it was a therapy- was at first some what confused and thought whether she had gone ‘loose thread”! However he enjoyed her response. Her treat was not restricted for rest of the day but lasted till next morning! The programmer never thought a pound of sugar is that sweet!
Next day while proceeding to work he asked her whether anything has to be bought for that day! That enquiry was her first experience after starting life with him. What to say the honeymoon long lost came back to the couple! The programmer was programmed to be a good homemaker. While he was living in celestial bliss, she was thanking the good old lady of her neighborhood.
Lesson “A pinch of sugar attracts more ants than a gallon of gall.